I am 33 years old. I have had 3 kids, all boys. They are now 6.5yrs, 2.5yrs, and 10 months old. I have been skinny all my life and made fun of for it. When I was in my early 20’s I enjoyed my body. I was a dancer, but I had nice boobs, and I finally didn’t care what other people said, even though I was accused a lot of being anorexic.. which I WASN’T and never have been. After 3 kids (6 pregnancies), I somehow still stay thin, but have lost any curve I ever had. I look like a 14 year old boy. Being pregnant and having curves let me know what it was like to be a woman.. and now I’ve lost it. I fear that my husband liked my body a lot more before, though he won’t say anything because he is a gentleman. I fear being around women with nice boobs, or boobs at all because I don’t want to catch him looking.. I don’t want him wanting them. I even get jealous when watching TV or movies.. and not just of nice breasts, but any woman that LOOKS LIKE A WOMAN.
They don’t make feminine clothes for women who have the shape of boys. I have no luck finding bras that work, since there really isn’t anything to put in one besides nipples, but I need the coverage (if you have breast fed 3 babies, you would know why).
I have considered a boob job. Nothing big, but just enough to actually wear clothes I want to. I actually was about 10 minutes from being put under for one when I found out I was pregnant with my third. Now because of other issues with my health, I am not sure I want to ever go through with it. My husband says he doesn’t care either way, but I know there would be no argument if I had one done.
I wish I could accept my body. I wish I didn’t care that I was so tiny. I wish I could believe my husband could still find me attractive.