The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother

« | Home | »

No Longer Anonymous (Terressa)

April 25, 2011

I posted on SOAM about two months ago. A lot has changed since my last post, and when I heard SOAM had a sister website I had to post an entry! Again I’d like to thank all of the women on SOAM and TIAW, you’ve all made me realize that no one should ever be ashamed of their body. We are all women and we should all be proud whether we’re fat, skinny, insecure, tall, short, white, dark, we are ALL beautiful!

When I last posted I was still very insecure about my body. I looked at myself daily and was reminded of the fact that every other girl my age has a perfect, flawless, unstretchmarked stomach. And what I had was a saggy flabby mess. My self esteem plunged even farther when my daughter’s father broke up with me and on the SAME EXACT DAY started dating another girl. And of course she had that perfect body I wanted so desperately. I struggled and fought with depression over this for a while until I realized that this is all pointless. What does a perfect body matter in the long run? Did her perfect body create his child? No! It didn’t! Does her perfect body mean that she’s a good person on the inside? No! So why was I fretting over something so pointless? I admit, the thought of wanting a perfect body again pops up in my head occasionally. But there’s no point in it. I’ll never have that body again and all I can do is appreciate and love the body I have today. The very same body that created my perfect daughter. I love my stretch marks now. I absolutely LOVE them. And I don’t look at my c-section scar as a failure to give birth naturally like I wanted, I look at it as a badge of honor. The only thing I don’t like about my body is my wrinkly, squishy tummy, but I can live with it.

I’m 8 months postpartum now, and still have 15 of my 60 pounds to lose. I’ve been eating well, doing exercises to close my diastasis recti, and have started running every night after I put my daughter to sleep. No, I do not look the way I want to, but I FEEL great. I’ve been doing online school since my daughter was born, and I intend to finish high school so I’m not a “statistic”. No, I do not get to do all of the things I used to be able to do, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I love my daughter more than anything, and no one can say that teen mothers are too physically and emotionally unstable to give birth to and raise a child. My body gave birth to a healthy 9 lb 2 oz baby, and it’s been ME (not my parents) who has raised her. So yes there is hope out there for teen mothers who are struggling with people putting them down. Hold your heads high girls! Don’t let ANYONE underestimate you. Again, if there are any teen mothers or pregnant teens who need advice or just want to talk you can contact me at

Picture 1: Me the night before my c-section.
Picture 2: Me at 3 months postpartum.
Picture 4 & 5: Me now at 8 months postpartum.
Picture 6: My beautiful baby girl.

Post to Twitter Post to Facebook

13 Responses to “No Longer Anonymous (Terressa)”

  1. amber h Says:
    April 25th, 2011 at 11:14 am

    girl your only 8 months pp- walk walk walk and an occasional job… do some pilates… YOU look amazing already and it will only get better!!

    and forget that ass.

  2. Heidi T. Says:
    April 25th, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    Ressa baby<3
    You look GREAT. I wish I could love my stretch marks like you do. I hate them. I think I MIGHT post on here or on SOAM. I love Maya, I hope when things get better we can have a play date.
    & remember, dat a$$, dat a$$

  3. Maria Says:
    May 8th, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    We have the same squishy tummy!! I love mine because it is soft, same with my butt, soft and squishy, lol. You look GREAT! and your attitude is so inspiring! I wish I had these sites when I had my first at 16, five years later I now have your outlook on it all :-) Your daughter is so very lucky to have you as a mommy :-)

  4. Patrice Says:
    May 11th, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    I was a teen mother too! I am now 24 with a 6 year old little girl and a 9 month old little boy! I just got married in March (not to my daughters father) So I did it on my OWN for a lot of years. I have just now been able to start college. I have been telling people the same thing about teen mothers since I became one. All I can saw now is Look at me! I beat the odds that were given to the teen mothers. I graduated Highschool. Im about to have a bachelors in Sociology and continue my education even further to get my Masters.. And 4 of the years after I had my daughter It was just me, her and 2 or 3 jobs.. Kudos to you for not using motherhood as any kind of excuse to not succeed at life! It makes me sad when i hear girls say “I couldnt because i had a kid” Good luck to you!!

  5. Alex B. Says:
    May 12th, 2011 at 7:54 am

    I’m literally crying! I know exactly how you felt- everyone my age has a perfect body why can’t I? I had tons of extra skin and stretch marks after having a 9lb 3oz baby at 19 (I’m 5’1 and 100 pounds preprego) and just recently I had my second baby- 10lbs 5oz. Though I’ll never have my preprego body and the first time it took years until I got back to shape I’m not having as many problems this second time around. Its very inspiring to hear your story-motherhood is the ultimate selfless act but we are stronger for it. No matter how we look, we have beautiful little angels to share our lives with! And you look great for only 8 months pp. Your tummy will look better everyday but I think the main thing is how we feel inside. Education is very important-keep on that path. Children are the best motivators in the world. Thank you so much for sharing. Best of luck to you and your beautiful little girl :)

  6. Jessica Says:
    May 12th, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    Your acceptance of your body is a gift to your daughter. You have to model sincerely the self acceptance and value of what’s inside that you want her to grow to have. Great job!

  7. jim Says:
    May 19th, 2011 at 6:25 am

    as a dad to 5 boys with the same woman i learned to appreciate the real look of feminity not the made up magazine look be confident u guys look great after such a hard job

  8. Dee Says:
    June 1st, 2011 at 9:32 pm

    It’s great to hear such positive things coming from a young mother like me. I’m 17 and my daughter is almost 7 months. Sometimes I envy other girls our age with their “perfect” bodies, but in truth, they really aren’t perfect.

    And honestly, (pardon my language, but…) fuck that guy you were with. He’ll always be the father of your daughter, but you and your baby are super beautiful and it’s his loss.

    I posted “My New Self” on SOAM if you’d like to read my story.

    Stay strong and happy! :)

  9. Christina Says:
    July 29th, 2011 at 11:55 am

    I was a teen mother also, I had my son at 15, now I am 31 with a Master’s degree and in my last year of law school. I admire your positive attitude and your willingness to help others, being a young mother can make things a bit harder but by no means impossible…Wishing you the best of luck!!!

  10. Daniela Says:
    October 31st, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    I had a c-section too and the weight may go away but the the way your bely looks!

  11. Tiffany Says:
    April 26th, 2012 at 11:07 am

    After reading your post, I have to say I felt exactly like you did, for a long time. I a too was a teenage mom. Her father left shortly after she was born and I was afraid I would have to go on welfare, get food stamps and BE the statistic. However,I worked hard, raised her to be strong and 17 years later, I have a beautiful, brilliant daughter with a mind of her own and is now heading off to college in August. She has won the poetry contest at her high school (there were 70 entries, she came in first place), she has been published in Scotland’s literature journal twice, and is taking 4 Advance Placement classes with straight A’s. You don’t have to be the stereotype…raise your daughter to be an independent and strong woman…you’ll prove them wrong!!

  12. Alicia Says:
    July 22nd, 2012 at 9:32 pm

    I can’t tell you how much I appreciate these pictures. You have a similar body shape to me and it’s very comforting to see this shape. Thank you very much.

  13. Kelly Says:
    October 20th, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    You are absolutely beautiful and amazing! Like a lot of the comments, I was also a teen mother. It was hard at first to deal with the stretch marks while all of my friends still had flat bellies but I had this perfect little girl! She is now seventeen and a senior in high school and will soon be off to college! Like you, I refused to be a statistic and finished high school and college. And you know what, I still have the stretch marks on my boobs and belly! Love your body and the reminders such as the stretch marks that prove you are a beautiful, strong, mother! As for the tool bag that walked out, it’s his loss. Hopefully, he will be a good father but as your love, he is not good enough to share the same air as you breathe. Good luck and hope to see updates on you and your little one!

Next | Previous

Support This Site