Sorry for going AWOL last week. There were a lot of reasons including: depression, depression about Mother’s Day, depression probably cause my by uterus, my son’s birthday, a trip to a theme park, stupid heat, a trip to said theme park DURING stupid heat, my daughter’s head cold, attempting to survive the week in general, and more. Funny how I get down on myself for not following through with my responsibilities, and then when I write it all out, I think maybe I should give myself a break. Huh.
ANYWAY.
What you may have missed last week but probably actually didn’t but I’m sharing here anyway because AWESOME. #1
The CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch came out of the closet as a douche bag. And then this guy made an effort to express his feelings on the matter, and then this girl did the same.
In stark contrast, check out H&M over there treating human beings like human beings. Go figure.
What you may have missed last week but probably actually didn’t but I’m sharing here anyway because AWESOME. #2
Angelina Jolie ditched her boobs to save her life. Interestingly (and this is the not-awesome part) the Interwebz seemed to think it was somehow their business.
In other news, there’s a lot of talk lately about sexism and rape culture in school dress codes. The rules are created so that girls aren’t “distracting”. Which really isn’t fair to boys who are never given the chance to be expected to not GET distracted. It’s rape culture to assume men are incapable of being anything but animalistic beasts without the power to think and reason. We all lose.
May 22nd, 2013 at 2:44 pm
I only have sons. My eldest is finishing middle school in the next few weeks, and the dress code is a constant source of frustration for the girls. Part of the frustration is that the current style is inherently not within the confines of the dress code (short shorts, shorter than fingertip length, and spaghetti strap tops), while boys can wear dumpy shorts and an $8 T-shirt purchased at Costco and fit in socially AND within the dress code.
As a mother to sons, I find it offensive that there is so little faith in their self-control that they couldn’t concentrate on school if girls wear something short…and I think that’s a ridiculous reason to have a dress code.
For those reasons…I see it as a parent’s prerogative to direct/control/influence their childrens’ clothing choices.
On the flip side, I see how sexy some of these tween girls are actively trying to be, and it makes me a little sad for them. I do not think it’s sinful or shameful…but I feel like they are putting much of their self-worth into being “hot” (not even pretty or lovely, but specifically being “hot”), and I wish they would focus on overall awesomeness while they’re 13 and let “hot” be a part of their whole self when they’ve developed other awesomeness about themselves. However…I don’t think a dress code is really going to have all that much influence in that arena…
So the whole thing makes me think maybe uniforms is the easiest way to go…much like dressing for work…I don’t really know the answer I guess, but the distraction for boys shouldn’t be the reason for limiting wardrobe.
May 22nd, 2013 at 9:41 pm
I was thinking of you when I shared this, Mina, because I know you and I have talked about it before. And reading these articles has helped me form my opinions more. I like how, in one of the articles, they stated that oversexualization of girls is a good reason for the dress code. I agree. And I think that’s a topic that can be discussed with both the boys and the girls in the schools in order to empower both sexes and help to end rape culture. Funny how the end result (the dress code itself) doesn’t need to change (necessarily), but the REASONING behind it does.
May 22nd, 2013 at 10:39 pm
I did my student teaching at a high school and the freshman girls constantly had their thongs peeking out from their pants whenever they’d sit down. I’d stand at the back of the class and see at least 4 thongs. I felt that it was disrespectful for all concerned. Themselves, me, and their classmates, and YES distracting.
May 22nd, 2013 at 10:50 pm
I think we just have to be very careful when we start labeling clothing as disrespectful because it is sexual. Morality is very personal when it comes to how one chooses to dress, and to insinuate that a woman’s worth is based on how “respectful” her clothes are is a part of rape culture. I do not choose to wear clothes where my thongs hang out (this might be largely because I don’t wear thongs – HAH), but it is not my right to pass judgment on another woman because her clothing choices are different than mine.
I think it is reasonable to expect minors to not choose overly sexual clothing. While they are minors the adults in their lives must provide guidance for them through setting limits and boundaries and expectations. We should expect for them to not be overly sexualized as minors because sexuality is an adult decision. This isn’t to say that many minors aren’t behaving sexually. In fact, I would say that makes the point even stronger. We must model for both male and female teenagers how they should see women. And we should see them as making their own choices for their own sexuality as adults, and we should respect those choices.
While it may BE distracting for boys when girls wear overly sexual clothes, I think such distraction should not be tolerated. Instead we should model for them how to respect women.
I guess that’s what I was trying to get at with all that rambling.
May 22nd, 2013 at 10:51 pm
I’m sorry, but I keep imagining Professor McGonagall and how she’d handle such a situation. And I cannot imagine her tolerating such nonsense. Haha.
May 23rd, 2013 at 10:35 am
I agree with everything you said, Bonnie.
As far as expecting minors not to choose overly sexual clothing…I agree with that too, however for purposes of typical dress code restrictions, I don’t necessarily think that spaghetti strap tops or shorts that are shorter than fingertip length are inherently sexualized (these are the restrictions that are difficult at my kids’ schools). I wear both of those clothing items regularly…because it’s hot outside and it’s more comfortable.
An interesting point though in one of the articles I read was more to the idea that “dressing for school” should be more professional in orientation (for example, I wouldn’t wear short shorts or spaghetti straps to work…because it’s not professional, NOT because it’s too sexy or distracting). I think there’s a valid point there, but if that’s the case, they should be going after the boys wearing dumpy shorts and a T-shirt with spongebob (like my boys..haha) on it as well.
Another valid point regarding uniforms is more regarding the distraction of fashion/brand awareness/separating the obvious “haves” from the “have nots”. I actually don’t disagree with that either. If everyone wears the same basic uniform (options of shorts/pants/long sleeves/short sleeves), then there’s no discussion of who has the latest hot brand jeans, etc taking up attention during school time. Again, sexiness isn’t the issue.
May 24th, 2013 at 9:41 am
I agree with almost all of that. I just think that kids will find a way to discuss who has the latest hot brand jeans no matter what they wear. I think uniforms can certainly be helpful in a lot of aspects, but I’ve always been dubious over things like that. If name brand is an issue (I remember it being an issue in the 80’s, but then in the 90’s the issue was the opposite – how cheap our thrift store clothes were) uniforms won’t change that. IMO.
May 26th, 2013 at 5:13 pm
I agree with that too, Bonnie. I just meant that if that’s the spirit of the uniform/dress code, while I may not think it’ll be totally effective…I don’t think it’s rape culture, and it may be worth a try. I do see some validity in there (I know friends who say they’re grateful just for the fact that their kids get ready fast in the morning with a uniform…no choice makes it fast!).
May 27th, 2013 at 11:17 am
I am definitely not against uniforms.