Today I realized something. I was sitting at home with nothing to do and was looking through some pictures I took about seven months ago. All I could think was how beautiful my body looked. I was one hundred and ten pounds when the photos were taken. At one hundred and ten pounds I could real thinking about how morbidly fat I looked. I noticed how my body image didn’t look any different than it does now when I look in the mirror. I still see that same body I saw at one hundred and ten pounds, when I though about how fat I was. I couldn’t believe it. I have always thought my body was gross, no matter how thin I could get it. I talk to my boyfriend about how I hate how large I am and he laughs at me and says its hard to take a skinny person seriously when they are talking about how not skinny they are. I see something in the mirror. I think my sad face makes me think I look bad. I am sad because I think I look bad. Today in that photograph I saw more then an underweight body. I saw what my eyes were really looking at; a beautiful body everyday.
May 22nd, 2011 at 7:25 pm
I know exactly how you feel. I feel disgusting every day. I suffer with this so much and I can’t seem to see myself the way my fiance sees me. He tells me I am beautiful and that I am not fat and it just makes me wanna cry. It hurts to admit that I know I have a problem. I don’t have an eating disorder but I use to. I’m glad I’m not the only person who felt this way. For me I still feel this way. I’m glad that you don’t and that you see yourself the way you really are. Beautiful.