The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother The Shape of a Mother

Fat Amy

October 19, 2012

A few weeks ago my friend Bethany sent me an email telling me how much she’d loved Pitch Perfect and how inspiring she found the character Fat Amy. Bethany’s almost always right, but I was still dubious because too often has Hollywood pretended to support plus sized characters only to wrap them in an envelope of fat jokes. I know people say there’s a good message at the end of Shallow Hal, but how much can an audience really learn while they’re mocking an entire population of people the whole way there. I call bullshit.

So, while I probably wouldn’t have gotten around to seeing the movie on my own (not just because of the fat jokes), I decided I’d go out for a night at the movies to do research. My job is HARD, you guys. Also, Bethany totally went to see it again with me, so it was like mixing fun with fun. Or work with fun. Or. Something.

Before I go on, I want to add that the word “fat” is kind of interesting in that some people find it empowering while others find it offensive. I think, like so many words that oppressed populations take ownership of, this one can be freeing to people who grew up thinking fat was the worst thing to be. I know that there was a moment in my life where I stood and looked at myself and said, “Yes. I am fat. I am also brunette. I am funny. I am smart. I am many things.” The word “fat” is simply a descriptor. It lost all power when I let go of the negative connotations.

I think that is where the character Fat Amy is coming from. She’s comfortable with who she is. Entirely. She introduces herself as Fat Amy, she says, “so twig bitches… don’t do it behind [her] back”. (And of course I don’t support the skinny-hate any more than the fat-hate. We’re all gorgeous. We’re all real.) But for Amy, it’s more than just avoiding gossip. She wants to make it clear that size is not an issue for her. That she’s done her work, if she ever had any, on that aspect of her soul. She is saying that she can’t be bullied over her size because fat isn’t a bad thing. She has transcended fat phobia. She’s open to friendship as long as you don’t go there. Because There is stupid anyway, and she doesn’t need to spend any time with people who spend time in Stupid. I like that Amy owns her size. This may be the first Hollywood movie I’ve seen that gives a nod to fat acceptance.

Overall I’d say the movie is pretty progressive as far as Hollywood movies and overweight people go. There were (comparatively) hardly any fat jokes. But there were fat jokes. It wasn’t enough for me to disown the movie, but I really wish I could be writing about a movie that totally left that behind. Because you know, honestly, I don’t think the audience would walk out saying, “But? Where was the part where I got to laugh at the fat chick?” It turns out movies and TV can, actually, be entertaining without offending anyone. Who knew? Oh right. The people who made Roseanne, or Gilmore Girls.

This Wall Street Journal post talks about how more overweight women have become successful in recent years, but that for most of them, it’s success at a cost. In particular they talk about Melissa McCarthy’s recent success. I love this woman, and I’m so glad she’s getting recognized. But I hate that it’s only for playing a fat weirdo. She was awesome for all those years on Gilmore Girls when she played a person who was just a person. Size was never an issue for her character. But no one seemed to notice the actress behind the role. Until she played a clown in Bridesmaids. No success until you submit to society’s rules. The same story women are told at every size, in every job, at every age.

On a lighter note, this XOJane article, written in response to the WSJ one linked above, gives a good list of some strong plus-size characters in TV and movies.

So, if you have some interest in this movie, you may want to hit the theatre this weekend. It’s a feel-good movie with a romantic element to it. The music is fun, and there are some great jabs at misogyny. Amy is, over all, a strong woman (as you can see evidence of in the meme above), as are many of the female characters. If you see it – or if you already have – let me know what you think of it. How does it compare to Shallow Hal or Roseanne?

Post to Twitter Post to Facebook

PCOS & Positivity (Sarah)

October 18, 2012

I posted a few years ago on TSOAM about my struggle with PCOS and infertility and being overweight as a newlywed. When you get married that’s the question on everyone’s lips… “When are you two gonna have a baby?”. I got so tired of giving phony baloney answers like “Oh, we aren’t ready” or “We’re waiting a while”, that I started answering truthfully. I said “Because my ovaries are rotten and I can’t have children.”. People stopped asking after a while. How sad is that? I went though bouts of hating my body, feeling like a failure as a woman, I pushed my husband away, even at times questioning my faith. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to go see my friends who had babies. I couldn’t stand it, and I got angry at myself for feeling that way. I went to the doctor to see what could be done, and they told me oral contraceptives were my only option. Well, that helps me have babies how? After consideration I went ahead and took the pill for 2 years. It helped me manage my symptoms and reduced my cysts, but all of that does no good if it prevents me from getting pregnant! Doctors, right? I know. You do the math on that one. Anyway, After I posted to TSOAM, I received so much support and realized that so many women were affected by that disease, suddenly I didn’t feel so alone anymore. Here I am, 4 years later, 45 lbs down, a regular cycle, no pill, manageable symptoms… still with no children. But I’m not discouraged. I do have hope. It will happen when the time is right. I love TIAW/TSOAM and I am so thankful to have stumbled upon it.

Age: 26

Post to Twitter Post to Facebook

Weekly Awesome 10.17

October 17, 2012

.

~Stuff I pinned at my TIAW and Wisdom boards.
~The Mom Stays in the Picture. <--YES SHE DOES. I have so very few pictures of my mom when I was growing up. I always regretted that. No matter how crappy I might look one day, I make a point to not say no to pictures. Someday my kids, or my friends, or anyone, will want to remember me as I am right now. ~The F-Word. <--Grab some tissues first. ~This is one of the most twisted and hilarious and disturbing things I’ve seen online. I’m posing it here because it’s a good example of photoshopping. And because funny.
~I don’t really know how to handle this headline: Tyra Banks Bravely Tweets a Photo of her ‘Muffin Top’. On the one hand, it doesn’t look like anything at all to me except a woman’s soft body. I see no muffin top. In that case, I kinda abhor the use of the word “bravely”. On the other hand, if what women are currently striving for is to look thinner than that, it really would be brave. In which case: Go Tyra! Despite the fact that my job revolves around body image, I’m still out of touch with what mainstream women are wanting.
~I was lucky enough to spend my teen years in the 90’s when grunge was big and alternative lifestyles were respected and even revered by my peers (this may be partly due to the fact that my school had a creative and performing arts magnet so we attracted the weird and the open-minded). I was allowed to be myself, no matter how strange it might have seemed to the rest of society. I can relate to having an interest in death. So I LOVE that this woman is out there telling kids (and adults) that it’s totally normal. Even necessary for some of us – otherwise who else would take care of our loved ones when they die? I think our society has an unnatural fear of death, and I think that’s why we shun anyone for being interested in it. And that’s why I think this belongs here in the Weekly Awesome. Because it’s about loving who we are, no matter what society says.
~You know what else society tells you not to do? Take time for yourself. My friend Bex wrote this article about her so-called flaws (they’re totes not flaws, IMO).
~”Boys will be boys“? How about “Boys can learn to be respectful”?

Post to Twitter Post to Facebook

« Previous Entries | Next Entries »


Support This Site